The fucking aftermath of one good screw
Sep. 30th, 2008 11:47 am
Me: I wanna chat with ----- but I don't know if I should
I think I will just stay hidden from him
Kris: is he on?
Me: yep
Kris : do you think that maybe he might think you're avoiding him?
Me: snap monkey I wouldn't want that
im ignoring Jim not him
I'm just afraid of being like hi hi hi hi and he really not interested and all that fire cracking was on my
side and not his
Kris: then you type "sup"
Me: lol
okay I can do that
it can't be only on my side he was so intense
gah
im over thinking
besides its just fun right
just fun
fuck it I have to just say that over and over again
Kris: why are you being like me 2 years ago?
Me: karma, karma being the little bitch whore she is
anyway should I put a smiley face behind the sup?
or should I not
or should I say hey you since sup is so leet speak
or should I say sup you?
wtf is wrong with me
was it that good that I am stupid
fuck
okay
did you hear that
I just slapped myself
maybe that gave me a bit more sense
Kris: SNAP THE FUCK OUT OF IT
you're pissing me off and I'm going to have to fucking slap you tomorrow
Me: i typed in hiyah
its my compromise
Kris: ok
Me: this is crazy
god damnt you know what I am getting a vibrator and calling it a fuckin day
I swear
I am not allowed to date
this is turning me stupid
fuck men
fuck women too
I’m going to be a nun from now on
Kris: yeah ok
that won't last
Me: hey can we trade the honesty for a little support here!
Seriously next time I go out with anyone im wearing my cast iron drawers…well unless its Mr Studd
Kris: yeah he's cute
freaky but cute
and that's how Christian Bale was in American Psycho
Me: cute and freaky?
Kris: and scary with a fucking saw
Me: well thanks for ruining Mr Studd FOUREV’ERRRR
this is that honesty thing again isn't it?
I see what you did there
Kris: safety before pleasure
So long... and thanks for all the bliss
Sep. 27th, 2008 02:18 pmI want to ask you to come up. I want you to spend the night with me.
and I really wanted to too.
But it wouldn't be fair. I'm leaving in the morning. The issues can't be solved from here. So I have to go back for a while.
-Oh so that's why you took me to dinner... trying to soften the blow. How sweet.
Well things do go down better with chocolate. And I wanted to leave on good terms with you because when I return I hope... I would like to... continue with you. With this...
-What is this?
I have no idea... do you?
-No
I wasn't expecting you.
-I wasn't expecting you either.
I was partially expecting to be seduced and then beaten up by three of your hidden assoiciates while you all stole my stuff
-I was partially expecting to be raped, beaten and left in some gutter.
It was foolish of us.
-Yes... we are extremly lucky individuals. You looked like you wanted to say something but you didn't you just held my hands. The elevator chimed. The doors opened. There's your ride. You kissed me. Hard, hungry, not caring who saw, exactly the way I like it. I felt 16 again.
Any parting words. You whispered as you pressed your forehead against mine.
-So long... and thanks for all the bliss
I could feel you laugh. Thanks for all the bliss huh?
-Yeah, that and you've missed your elevator.
It'll be back. You press the little button and it pops open again. You step out of my arms. You step inside. And as the doors close you say what I really wish you hadn't I'll be back too.
I give you a half smile and poke my tongue out at you childlishly. I wait for the doors to close for them to carry you to your floor. Your laughter is still ringing in my ears when I whisper into empty space what I really wanted to say to you
I hope.
But even if you're not back... even if it turns out that this was just a shared moment of insanity.
And last night was really, truly a goodbye a so long....
Thanks
for all the bliss.