It's not that serious

5:30am

Me:      I had this really weird dream last night…

Terick: Really?

Me:      Yeah, I dreamed that I was hungry and I was looking for something to eat.  I didn't want Jack in the Box or McNasties I wanted Whole Foods but I couldn't find one so I was like- fuck it and went home.

Terick: Wow that's odd.

Me:      Why?

Terick: I had the same dream.

Me:      Really

Terick: Yep… but instead of food it was sex.

I had a particularly odd dream last night
well last night was just
odd
I kept getting little pains all over my body
deep throbbing pains
like every time my heart pumped pains
When I finally fell asleep
I had my hands curled into fists under my stomach which I slept on
I woke up three times thinking I had developed some sort of weird cancerous tumor or my left ovary was finally about to rot off from years of non use
but I was to depressed and too tired to do anything about it at the moment
not even groan
besides I didn't want to deal with waking up Terick because he might remember that he fell asleep trying to get some
and restart his campaign
So if it was cancer then there was nothing I could do about it seeing as I have no insurance and no money I feel back to sleep
and that's when I had the dream

I was in an office... kinda like a doctors office. A new age one except for the fountain in the middle of the floor. Some enya-isque muzak wafted in from an unseen source. The room was brightly lit with multiple wall sconces. The seating was one long couch which circled the entire room and there was only one door. Everyone was relaxed... as a matter of fact it was the most relaxed I had ever seen people. I felt totally out of place.

The door opened. A woman in brightly colored world design scrubs came in. “Irene Solonge McCalphin you can come in now.” I stood and walked after her into the next room. She was gone and instead of the plush warm atmosphere of the waiting room I was surrounded by cold white walls with glaring florescent light. Despite the matrix like setting my first thought was... omg I look horrible under florescent lighting.
“Uncomfortable isn't it?” a voice said

I turned around and seated at a steel table in a steel chair with his hands folded neatly was one of the most drop dead gorgeous men I had ever seen... He was a hybrid of Johnny Dep and Jeff Goldbloom He was dressed like a Santa Cruz native calm conscious and classic.
“Please have a seat Ms McCalphin”

He didn't have to ask twice. He leaned forward. Looked me right in the eye and said “Do you know why you are here?”
“Not really”
“Notice anything odd?”
“Yeah... Where are the doors?”
“There are none I don't want you getting away before i'm done with our little chat”
“I think this is a dream”
“You would.”
“It is'nt?”
“I guess life it a dream, isn't that how the song goes?"
”Soooo this is a dream?”
“Your about to wake up.”
“Excuse me?”
“If life is a dream you're about to wake up.”
“Ummmm”
“You are going to die”
“...”
“Alright you're reasonable enough as mortals go... I can give this to you straight.”

All of a sudden the room changed and we were back in the room with the fountain except no on was there and I was in a hospital gown on a padded table with stir ups like the ones in the gynecologist office. Still no door.

“Look honey your killing yourself.. The lack of exercise, your diet, your self-esteem, your stress levels... hell if the pcos doesn't get you the cancer will or a stroke or diabetes.”
“You know about the pcos?”
“Yes and that was a test and i'm sorry to say that you are failing miserably.”
“I knew it was a test” I said indignantly
“Look I'm sorry... I'm trying my best to keep you here but you're working so hard against me that I might have to recall you and re-issue you.”
“Recall me?”

He put the little clip board he was holding into my hands.
“Yes dear, recall you... Do you know who I am?”

There was a moment of infinity with him just staring at me. And all of a sudden it clicked.
“Noooooo” I said like one whose missed the punch line on a joke and just had it explained with use of graphs, visual aids and baby words.
“Yes”
“Your the god damn grim reaper right?”
“That depends on what you mean by god, hell doesn't exist and  that's not what my mother named me"

"You have a mom?  What did she name you?"
"That's not important and your taking us off topic"

"Oh... sorry"
"No problem...look this is your last warning Irene.. I can't do anything more for you after this”
“Last warning what about my first!?”
“You're soo dense dear you really need to look around you more often.. Anyway get your shit straight... you have too much to do here okay. I really don't want to recall you early it's unnecessary paperwork.”

The table disappeared and I was dressed again. There was a door.
“Do we understand each other?”

I nodded
“Good girl now scoot”

And I woke up.
I rolled over and shook Terick

“I'm dying!” I said once he groaned
“Yes yes every second we live we die. Go back to sleep.”