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How to Deal with the Office Perv
Jul. 23rd, 2008 10:33 amOne of my friends is keeping a sexual harassment log. The office perv has set his 58 year old, married with children sights on her. My advice was as follows:
Your normal office pervs are fun to screw with... mentally. Ask about his wife when he asks about going to "lunch" if he tells you about how they are having trouble and he feels trapped start to tell him that you know exactly what he means:
"Like in that movie Brokeback Mountain. The main character felt trapped too but if you just come out and tell your wife you're gay then things will eventually get better. "
If he tries to refute his homosexuality. Nod sympathetically but lace it with condescending undertones. Let him know that he should not be ashamed of himself. That the truth will set him free.
If he counters this by redoubling his efforts to get into your pants.
a: Invite him out to lunch and have one of your actual gay friends "drop by" introduce them, sit back and enjoy the show.
b:Invite him out to lunch and have one of your girlfriends come by.
I did this once for one of my friends. I dressed in my best bitch-fit and strolled into the restaurant and gave her a big kiss before sitting down. The guy was flabbergasted. Once recovered he tried to hint at the whole I'm into lesbian thing but I made it quite clear that my dick was bigger than his.
Anyway be creative. Have fun with it. And remember if you need me to I can come grab your ass and stick my tongue down your throat because that's what friends are for.
Your normal office pervs are fun to screw with... mentally. Ask about his wife when he asks about going to "lunch" if he tells you about how they are having trouble and he feels trapped start to tell him that you know exactly what he means:
"Like in that movie Brokeback Mountain. The main character felt trapped too but if you just come out and tell your wife you're gay then things will eventually get better. "
If he tries to refute his homosexuality. Nod sympathetically but lace it with condescending undertones. Let him know that he should not be ashamed of himself. That the truth will set him free.
If he counters this by redoubling his efforts to get into your pants.
a: Invite him out to lunch and have one of your actual gay friends "drop by" introduce them, sit back and enjoy the show.
b:Invite him out to lunch and have one of your girlfriends come by.
I did this once for one of my friends. I dressed in my best bitch-fit and strolled into the restaurant and gave her a big kiss before sitting down. The guy was flabbergasted. Once recovered he tried to hint at the whole I'm into lesbian thing but I made it quite clear that my dick was bigger than his.
Anyway be creative. Have fun with it. And remember if you need me to I can come grab your ass and stick my tongue down your throat because that's what friends are for.
