Savings and Ho's

neil:  I just started my savings account at Bank of America

me:  groovy groovy

neil:  so you should give me money

me:  umm.....
         no

 
neil:  go ahead

        anytime

me:  no thank you I'm good

neil:  feel free

         well your not anymore

me:  thanks for your consideration but really its alright

neil:  don't you think I should be the judge of that?>

me:  I am totally GOOD

         judge of what?  my goodness or my money?

neil:  your goodness and MY money that you are holding on to

         its mine so hand it over

         thief

me:  hey you aren't my pimp so you have zero say over that!!!

         now if you took up the job of pimping me (which isn't easy) they we can talk

 
neil:  fine I will become your pimp

         but just to let you know

         there will be some changes

         from now on we are going to go for higher volume at a reduced rate

         so get out there and start whorin!

me:  not so fast you have to fill out an application first. and there is a practical exam regarding skills such as swagger, bling and the overall   bitch slap.  I personally don't think your are gonna pass the verbal.

neil:  I think the sheer amount of respect that my pimp slap will envoke will make up for my low scores in other areas

 

 me:  while it is true that the pimp slap does comprise 30 percent of all scoring you still have another 70% to account for

          I suggest you get up to speed byupdating your linguistics via urban dictionary.

neil:  I think you might be over exaggerating. The only words I need to know for this job are bitch, money and blumpkin.

That is our main marketing strat.  we are going to corner the market on blumpkins

 

me:  See this is why you are going to make a horrible pimp.  First your sense of business ethics is all wrong..."higher volume at a reduced rate" unless you are going to get a fleet of whores you will wear them out before you get your money's worth.  
        2nd I don't do blumpkins.  That causes gaging and clients should not get what they did not pay for.  That kind of freakishness is extra. Honestly where are your values?

         3rd language is essential.  There are times when you will need to communicate with the client.  While bitch and money are universal.  There are also ways to detail what happens to the client should he  damage your property.

         I mean duh

 

neil:  Irene

          its this kind of sass that makes the bitch slap necessary

          the fact of the matter is your input is not needed.

          I am the pimp

          you are the ho

          so get to ho'in!

          ...

         please

me:  Fail