missrenie: (Default)
neil:  I just started my savings account at Bank of America

me: 
groovy groovy :)

neil:  so you should give me money

me:  umm.....
         no
 
neil:  go ahead
        anytime

me:  no thank you I'm good

neil:  feel free
         well your not anymore

me:  thanks for your consideration but really its alright

neil:  don't you think I should be the judge of that?>

me:  I am totally GOOD
         judge of what?  my goodness or my money?

neil: 
your goodness and MY money that you are holding on to
         its mine so hand it over
         thief

me:  hey you aren't my pimp so you have zero say over that!!!
         now if you took up the job of pimping me (which isn't easy) they we can talk
 
neil: 
fine I will become your pimp
         but just to let you know
         there will be some changes
         from now on we are going to go for higher volume at a reduced rate
         so get out there and start whorin!

me:  not so fast you have to fill out an application first. and there is a practical exam regarding skills such as swagger, bling and the overall   bitch slap.  I personally don't think your are gonna pass the verbal.

neil:  I think the sheer amount of respect that my pimp slap will envoke will make up for my low scores in other areas
 
 me:  while it is true that the pimp slap does comprise 30 percent of all scoring you still have another 70% to account for
          I suggest you get up to speed byupdating your linguistics via urban dictionary.

neil:  I think you might be over exaggerating. The only words I need to know for this job are bitch, money and blumpkin.
That is our main marketing strat.  we are going to corner the market on blumpkins
 
me:  See this is why you are going to make a horrible pimp.  First your sense of business ethics is all wrong..."higher volume at a reduced rate" unless you are going to get a fleet of whores you will wear them out before you get your money's worth.  
        2nd I don't do blumpkins.  That causes gaging and clients should not get what they did not pay for.  That kind of freakishness is extra. Honestly where are your values?
         3rd language is essential.  There are times when you will need to communicate with the client.  While bitch and money are universal.  There are also ways to detail what happens to the client should he  damage your property.
         I mean duh
 
neil:  Irene
          its this kind of sass that makes the bitch slap necessary
          the fact of the matter is your input is not needed.
          I am the pimp
          you are the ho
          so get to ho'in!
          ...
         please

me:  Fail
        
 
 
 
missrenie: (Default)

 neil:  it seems to me that you are dating a guy who can't turn it off

 me:  "turn it off?"

 neil:  when he met you the thing that really turned you on about him was his dominance
and now he is acting that way all the time
he can't leave it at the dungeon
but at the same time
you have not told him he needs to leave it at the dungeon
so he has no idea that he is pissing you off
and tits

me:  lol
you're right
when I see him tonight we will talk about this
that makes sense

neil:  coolio
I now everything about relationships

me:  except how to spell know...you gave me a really good view point.  He is acting dominate that is part of what I fell for and how can I be upset with him for displaying a trait that I found attractive and a part of him.
He's acting like a pitbull because he is one and he doesn't know how I feel because I have not told him
we both have our own viewpoints of what a relationship is
My viewpoint is meeting these people great!  But if you're going to sleep with them I want to meet them too other than that have fun
his view point is totally not that
but I think he is trying
and he is putting forth great effort
I mean the first time I had a date was AWFUL for us both
so he is getting better we just have to communicate
 
 neil:  Well just make sure you don't compromise what you want or who you are for this relationship which (lets be honest) already has a roof over it.
not to say that you shouldn't persue it
but you have already been in one relationship where you have tried to change yourself to what he needs
so that is a learned behavior that you have
that you are tryin to unlearn

me:  yeah it is
I was typing before... about to say that I have a handle on that
but I realize that I don't
I really want to please and sometimes in doing so I am not true to myself
I will be aware of this :)
thanks Neil :)
Tea Time!!!
 
neil:  have fun
wait a minute...
I can't trust that you actually agree with me because maybe your just trying to be change yourself to be what I want you to be!!
which is a girl that always agrees with me
I can never trust anything you say again!

me:  um wow

neil: 
I think I have to break up with you as friends

me:  you know your right I know I'll make a point of disagreeing with you about everything
it is the only way to save our friendship
I'm willing to do this for that!
 
neil:  but what if thats what I want you to do to save this friendship?
theres no right answer
I think we need to suicide
 
me:  your right that is the answer to all of our problems
wait
no
I disagree
I think

neil:  don't tempt me!  I got the gun in my hand!
 

 

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November 2011

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