Don’t = Do or Reverse Psychology works on me!!!

I realized something today

I never really enjoyed drinking until someone told me I shouldn't do it. Really, I was the sober friend.  The one everyone depended on to give them a ride.
Now the closet thing I get to a drivers seat is when I try to whisper indecent nothings into Terick's ear at the end of the night.  Empathis on try. Seriously I was dry as a dehumidifier in the fuckin Sahara and now it's like "You're gonna drive right cause I'm getting toasted tonight… can I get an amen?!!!"

I'm no lush btw but honestly wtf.  Someone says don't drink and all I can think about is what flavor cosmo I'm having with my appetizer and whether or not Ron's bringing the good gin tonight.

 
Someone tells me:
"Gurl you shouldn't look at that" and I stare with eyes as big as a deer's caught in a head light.

Mama said:
"Irene you shouldn't kiss boys it will get you pregnant" so I kissed girls too cause I figured it would cancel out the boys... I haven't been pregnant a day in my life (go team!!)

Doc says:
"You shouldn't drink" and I'm hanging out the window screaming where's the liquor at beyotches (sp?).

Terick says that I'm difficult but I think that's proof that I'm as easy as a crack whore on a Saturday night.  Just tell me not to do something and I'll be all over it.

I find it to be a  laughable tragically pathetic trait and I have to get it under wraps

after the company party on Friday that is.