missrenie | Craigslist #1: GOOD BLACK GUY

So a buddy of mine is dating in Denver. And she ran across this little gem that she just had to share. I think it is pure genius so I had to share it too... and analyze it as well.

I heart you craigslist <3

GOOD BLACK GUY - 27 (D)

Date: 2009-06-15, 3:56PM MDT

Ladies are you tired of your black man that does not work, has other kids you help him take care of, does not listen to you, rub your feet sometimes, take your car without asking, and just parties in the club with his boys all week long and make you stay at home. ladies i know as a black man that aome of us do those type of things, so if your in the market for a new black man listen up

Im employed with a good job, i dont stay at home with mom even though we are in a recssion i have two cars, im six foot 2 200 pounds no kids and no crazy exes
things i like to do

1) read
2) sports
3) watch movies
4)and just chill

about you

1) Down to earth
2) can cook
3) no kids. i might make an exception if the baby dad is far far away--i hate baby dad drama
4) has a career
5) own home
6) can rub a back do the splits or shoot an basketball, or kick a soccer ball, something athletic
7)pretty feet
8) at least a b plus-that means you better be looking like an model or on the verge of looking like one..lol

preference (just what i really like)
1) can conversate good
2) dark hair
3) light skin. that means mixed black women white women mexican and white asian mexican--you get the point
4) nice hands
5) not a pushover

things i can do for you
1) listen when you come home tired or have problems
2) rub your back and feet
3) take you out if i feel like your worthy of a good wine and dine
4) put my face in the cookie if you know what i mean
5)not try to get with one of your friends after you tell her how good the sex is..lol
6) be loyal and respectful
7) make you laugh

Well if you still reading im sure your laughing right now. and thats my best quality making a women laugh. so anyway i know your saying what does this brotha look like.. well im not gonna lie im not usher but i dont look like SEAL either so if SEAL the singer can get HEDI KLUM a model im sure i can get a nice good looking women. hell somebodies got to date you why not me...get back with me with pic and contact info myspace facebook link, and i will will be happy to send pics of me. thanks and please no dumb replies only serious ones cause i am being serious.. thanks

Source: http://denver.craigslist.org/m4w/1223193506.html

See genius and I'll explain why:
Aside from the overwhelming amount of grammatical and spelling errors which is a painful and probably accurate red flag regarding the underwhelming upcoming “Conversate” any woman daft enough to take him on would have, this is 100% pure genius.

Because (while being completely high-larious) he has presented honest intent and personal character clear enough for any woman of any imagination to get the full vivid picture… even though it isn’t a pretty one. He has meticulously laid out bright yellow “Danger” tape and bold red signs that say “Stop sbm with self esteem so low he has to write I as i, seeking articulate -lighter- than a paper bag video girl to engage in foot fetish and hand porn who will not mind spanking him since it would bring some validation and excitement to his life which consists of:

1) read
2) sports
3) watch movies
4)and just chill

While the offer to “take you out if i feel like your worthy of a good wine and dine.” May seem heartwarming at first it is a guarded cruising for a bruising. So is the reassuring promise to “not try to get with one of your friends after you tell her how good the sex is..lol”

The pièce de résistance… and there is a pièce de résistance is the Newtonian logic presented in his closing statements … and I quote “somebodies got to date you why not me”. How noble and self sacrificing.

The ironic genius is this: In his effort to not be one undesirable man he has depicted himself as that man’s equal if not brother. Bravo and encore sir. I’m no video girl but I have pretty feet and hands and I am fully capable of tying you up and spanking you… you misogynic myopic blatantly masochistic foot fetish freak you.