Just passing through

[missrenie]

I'm temporarily in this place.
this fuck awful place in my head.

I'm coming down from my break-up high, moving high, i'm so fuckable high
I bi-passed solid ground
I slipped directly of the cliff  and into the pit.

I'm holding on though, bloody nails and all, screaming obscene curses at myself for wanting
just to be held
just for a little while

I wish I was stronger,
that this want to let go while someone holds on wasn't so dominating
I plunge myself into work, into working out... I've lost 12 pounds.  But this heavy pain is still there.


Nothing's gonna heal it save time
Shopping, eating, working, new relationships... those things are just temporary bandaids

It's gonna bleed through.

fucking sure as hell isn't gonna do the trick either
if the past two weeks have taught me anything
if the past six years have taught me anything

its that I'm so tiered of being fucked
and I'm so tiered of being fucked over

But despite all that, and everything I wrote I above it.  I know these three things.

I will heal.
I will be happy.
I will be whole.

I am determined to be so
I deserve to be so.