This here kitten has got one life to live

[missrenie]

One of my jobs is to pass out the paystubs for the entire continental company.

I spend nearly 35 mins sorting through them, mailing the ones that are out of state and alphabetizing the ones for people on site.  In anticipation that they (about  200 people)  get off of their asses and  come pick up their check instead of  wasting 41 cents and my precious time.  Sometimes 1/3 of them put their best foot forward which means the other 2/3's deserve my best foot forward in their ass (I really hate wasting money... and time I could be using to write really smutty fan fiction)

 Anyway I did the same thing with the W2 forms yesterday and lo and behold they descended like a flock of ravenous carrion birds upon my poor defenseless desk.  Both phones are ringing, I'm signing in visitors and simultaneously correcting a last minute order  with some one who has trouble speaking English while 25 people are bum rushing me screaming "Where da dollars  at?!  Show me the money!!!  and Hurry up lady cause its time to get mine from the tax man!"

 Why can't they be this excited about pay stubs! 

I am seriously considering putting out a message that says. "Every time I use a stamp God kills a kitten"

But I'm sure this will piss of anyone who believes in God and/ or is a feline friendly.  On the up side the atheist dog enthusiasts will love me.  Maybe I can say this instead:

"Every time I use a stamp God kills a kitten...lol just kidding, but I will.  Seriously, come get your damn check."