7...8...9...

I was there when this was recorded.
And everytime I hear it it affects me.
Especially now
I can feel it ...this jittery thing vibrating like an angry truth in and out my bones

There are faces, there are smiles, so many teeth, too many arms and legs
And eyes and flashing buttons all around me
I'm a-watching, I'm a-breathing, I'm a-pushing, I'm a wishing
That these walls would not be talking quite so loudly
I have lost it once before I've pulled myself up from the floor
And I am looking for a reason to stay standing
But sometimes it's just too much or not enough or something else
It's so much bigger than my head, it's too demanding

Sometimes the fastest way to get there is to go slow
And sometimes if you wanna hold on you got to let go

I'm gonna close my eyes
And count to ten
I'm gonna close my eyes
And when I open them again
Everything will make sense to me then

I have met so many people, we've exchanged so many words
We've said it all and we've said nothing but it's changed us
I have know a lot of men, some were lovers, some were friends
But all together were they merely passing strangers?
They'll control you with their silence, they'll control you with their words
And you'll control them with your body's coded signals
In the wild, entangled gardens of our insecurities
We lose our heads into eachother's hidden pitfalls

Sometimes the fastest way to get there is to go slow
And sometimes if you wanna hold on you got to let go

I'm gonna close my eyes
And count to ten
I'm gonna close my eyes
And when I open them again
Everything will make sense to me then

1
I've come too far and been through too much
2
to let this demonic depression take me down or to fall into the same traps, to suffer from this uncertainty
3
to play victim to my own concocted insanity, or the insanity of others
4
I'm racking my brain and raging
5
fuck this situation
6
I'm rending my soul and screaming
7
fuck this state of being
8
and desperately, angrily, violently I'm pleading
9
make some fucking sense


10