What the... hail?

Dennis and I pressed our noses against shatter proof glass in the copy room trying to figure out if it was raining or hailing outside... after about two minutes we agreed that it was hail and after about five minutes of laughing from watching the passerbys below us run, dart and freak out about it we decided it was a good thing.

But as I stood there pointing out the poor soul in shorts and sandals wobbling awkwardly as if the tiny drops of ice were huge marbles I remembered my own first experience with hail.

I was 15 years old... petting my kitten Phantom on the front porch. The sky was bright blue with a few puffy clouds and the heat was blaring and intense. A normal New Orleans day. The cloud must have approached from behind because I never saw the sky darken but this was also normal.
Phantom gave me a lick and slinked off of my lap and closer towards to front door and curled up.. I thought to take a nap. And thats when it happened... rain at first until it changed and instead of hitting the side walk and turning it dark grey it bounced, and bounced and hit me. And I freaked out
but but here are my reasons why
1- never seen hail
2- raised Roman Catholic
3- just saw The 10 commandments with Charleston Heston
4- has a mother who was known to mumble “we are living in our last days” , “the world is coming to an end” “the day of judgment we know neither the day or the hour” at least twice a day
(I would be surprised to wake up every morning to find that it had not happened and horrified that today would be the day, and worried that the rapture would happen: while I was on the toilet, or still a virgin, or during sex, or in an elevator or a combination of the above)

I was however still a virgin so this was a bad thing.
It began to come down harder and harder... in bigger and bigger pieces... and I knew from the 10 commandments that it would start to catch fire soon so I had to get inside
I was frantic
I flew off the porch
got my leg stuck in the hedge
After wrenching myself free I dashed and I mean dashed up the ramp to the side door
cursing at myself for losing time in the hedges
the door was locked
damn
I ran around to the back of the house and began banging like a wild woman
My mother let me in
I slammed the door and pressed against keeping the forces of hell or vengeance of whatever at bay.

“What the hell is your problem?”
“Ice mama ice from the sky.. There is ice coming out of the sky... its raining ice” which was hard to say as breathless as I was
My mother I thought was amazingly calm and said “You mean hail”
“Hail?”
“Yes you dingy hail”
“Hail?”
silence during which I remembered my lessons in science class about weather and cold air and hot air and blah blah blah.

“So the worlds not coming to an end”
long silence (im sure she was weighing the pros and cons of messing with my head )
“No Irene”

With my heart racing I slumped to the floor, my glasses fogging up, beads of sweat dripping from my temples, relived... that I had not died a virgin.