Time to fly

Trust me he said in earnest as he looked directly into my eyes.  I am asking you to trust me.  I need you to trust me this time.

 

It broke my heart because I have trusted him.  I chose a life with him instead of my family. I left three jobs and three homes when he asked me to. I have struggled from day to day, paycheck to paycheck surviving on his hopes and dreams.  I have broken myself to my very foundation and rebuilt myself in an image more suitable to him.  I have missed nine years of holidays, birthdays, special occasions in what was once my life to follow him into a world where I was essentially alone…a strange southern girl in even stranger western lands. 

 

All because I trusted him.   But I couldn’t this time. 

 

Besides it wasn’t truly trust he was asking for

It was my faith he wanted.  My hope he truly desired, as if my belief in him would be the wind beneath his exhausted wings.  But I was tried of being his buoyancy, sick of being the bearer, the unseen entity oft taken for granted.   

 

So even though looking him directly in his eyes and telling him no was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do.  I did it.  Even though my tear clouded eyes were locked with his own moist gaze I could see with complete clarity…. It is my time to fly.