missrenie: (burlesque)
Because being part of something larger than yourself, that challenges you and forces you to grow is a powerful experience

Because the burlesque community is comprised of artist twisted creative compassionate genius and it is a pure fucking honor to be among their ranks.

Because years from now when I am old and grey I can look back and say I had the ovaries to do it

Because years, weeks, days from now when things go all pear shaped I can call on any one of these powerful women and they would have my back

Because who needs prozac, zoloft or a stiff drink when you can go to sleep with the remnants of a roaring, screaming, cheering crowd still ringing in your ears.

Because years ago someone told me that I was ugly, that I couldn't dance, that no one would love me, that no one would listen to me that I wasn't special....
and every time I step on that stage
I'm sending them the
fuck you


awesome photo of Rubenesque Burlesque by Johnny Crash check him out at http://www.johnnycrashphotography.com/
missrenie: (Default)
Disclaimers: the following post contains multiple, continuous and flagrantly shameless use of the words: fuck, bitch, and FAT If any of these words offend you or if you're one of my former English teachers please navigate away from this page now

Dear Ungrateful Fat Bitches,

nobody put's baby in a corner

I expected hate from the "mainstream" but from you. You're breaking my god damn heart. I knew when I started doing burlesque that I would have an uphill battle to fight but I can't believe you are trying to drag my ass down too. Oh you are flag waving for equality, bitching about how people treat you differently, crying about all that bullshit you went though in grade school but when it comes down to it sometimes you are just as much part of the problem.

Lets start with the thing that pisses me off the most. More than the fuck-me-never frumpy grey clothes you wear, the constant newest fad diets you go on, or the enabling support groups where you get together and cry. Lets start with this: The whole. utter and complete dismissal of yourself as a sexually potent human being...

I keep getting these response from other big women:
#1 We are about celebrating our curves not sexualizing them
#2What you are doing is perpetuating a harmful fetishism
#3 We deserve to be loved not put on embarrassing display

Ummmm... you lost me sweetness what better celebration of your curves, then covering it with glitter and dancing the night away.

The idea that my particular thunda thighs are floating her boat or rockin his cock doesn't break my flow sugah. It's not like I have to stand there and watch them do it to it. I'll pose for a picture for private use...and if they want panties that costs extra (you freaks know how to reach me ;) ) . Besides like someone pointed out to me the other day skinny women don't get pissed off that people find them attractive just because they are skinny. Or do ya'll?

I really wished you believed that... because if you did then you would not fall for prey to being what Kathryn calls the "grateful fat chick". I am not a grateful fat chick but I used to be. I was that fat girl that would be oh so happpy that someone was checking her out, asking her out, or calling her pretty. I was that fat girl that was content to let him touch her in private even if he didn't hold her hand in public. I was that fat girl that was starving for his compliments and hungrily eating all the bullshit he spit out. I am no longer a grateful fat chick... now I'm a phat bitch

I'm out there shaking my wide ass and jiggling my tits not just to appease my behemoth sized ego but to liberate you, reeducate the masses and fuck with the heads of fat-o-phobs. I'm fighting to be free in mind and expression. Yeah I'm taking my clothes off but if you look past that you'll see that I have the ovaries and intestinal fortitude to live my dream at my present size in my present body unapologetically and that is something that extends beyond the stage.

That's the real reason you fat bitches hate on me. I am shoving in your face what you want to run from most,what you cover up with girdles and cinch in with control top panties. Because you have not let go of your shame, and self loathing. Because someone beat you down so hard you are trying to beat me down too.

But I don't want to beat you down,
I don't want to embarrass you.
I want you to really see, to really accept how fabulous you are, how deserving you are how damn pretty you are.

And don't give me that it's so easy for you bullshit either. I went though it too, from sneak eating to starving, from depression so deep that I could not step outside... I'd binge and purge on self hate with side orders of hot steamy shame. I may not always be fat.. you may one day be skinny but we are ALWAYS human beings. And as human beings we have basics needs that are physical, spiritual, emotional, mental, sexual.

Because I believe fat bitches need love too
Because I believe that this phat bitch needs love too I refuse to let your fear, past rejections and negative reflections suppress my sexuality, my sensuality, my personality .

Nobody puts baby in the corner!!
Besides there is too much of me to even fuck around at pretending at being invisible.
All 5'6 279 pounds of me demands to be respected to be loved, to be touched, to be sexualized and fetish-ized and glamorized and seen for the powerful beautiful woman that I am.

so do me a favor
cut a bitch a break
and stop weighing me down with all your misplaced hate.

oh and Dr Phil... BITE ME!!

fab photo of Rubenesque Burlesque by JOHNNY CRASH
missrenie: (Default)
Rubenesque Burlesque is doing it again with the Hubba Hubba Revue. Come see us shake and shimmy it up on the shores of Lake Tittihaha. Grab your gear and get ready for a hot hot summer night!!! xoxoxXXX,
Miss Renie
Miss Magnoliah Black. Come see us shake and shimmy it up on the shores of Lake Tittihaha. Grab your gear and get ready for a hot hot summer night!!!

Miss Renie
aka Miss Magnoliah Black

missrenie: (Default)


In September I will be going to get a look at New York for the first time... I think its only fair that New York gets an eye full of me in return.

Rubenesque Burlesque will be working hard that labor day weekend bring pasties, panties and plush plus sexy size to the City that never sleeps in our first ever tour of New York. 

I've been given the opportunity of the life time
All I have to do is take my clothes off.

And while I don't need a bra
I could totally use your support ;)

Miss Renie
aka Miss Magnoliah Black

Event:  Juke Joint
Date:   August 2nd
Time:   Doors open at 6 show starts at 7
Place:  The Vibe Lounge 2272 Telegraph Street, Oakland CA
missrenie: (Default)

"Any time there is a fat person onstage as anything besides the butt of a joke, it's political.
Add physical movement, then dance, then sexuality and you have a revolutionary  act."

Heather MacAllister aka Reva Lucian 2/25/68 - 2/13/07
missrenie: (MagBlackSep)

I keep trying to blog about what it was like on stage that Monday night.


What it felt like to taunt, tease and strip down to pasties and panties infront of the general public who hooted and hollered enthusiastically.  But I can’t.


In all honesty all I remember is this:

~nervous anticipation while standing at the curtain waiting to go on stage.

~an oddly hilarious moment when I realized in passing that the weird taste in my mouth was because I almost threw up.

~a sense of frantic disorientation when I made it back stage and wondered were my clothes were.


Standing there on that metal chair next to Kitty Von Quim with my arms upraised, my  hips twisted, exposed to the world was wonderful and powerful but this open ending seems trivial in comparison to what happened next.


During the second act there was a woman.  A belly dancer and she was gorgeous.  She was stunning, she was amazing.  She wove a spell like a shimmering  net, caught us up and drew us into her seduction.  In the end I applauded her wildly.


This may not seem like a big deal to some.

To me it was.


Less than six months ago I would have despised this woman

I would have hated her sexuality

I would have been jealous of her body

I would have compared myself to her and let her lovely image disgrace me, twist me, taunt me into a self loathing that would have began in starvation and ended with a binge.


But that didn’t happen this time

It didn’t happen because I was and am aware of the truth of my own sexuality, of my own body, of my own lovely image.


The truth of this makes me free

Free to enjoy her quaking hips

Free to applaud each thrust and twist

Free to see each bump and grind

Free to scream and clap in time


Because I have finally accepted me I can accept and appreciate her.

No matter who “her” is

And that is a powerful thing indeed.

missrenie: (Default)

In a little more than 72 hours I will be standing in direct defiance of every negative thing about my body that I have been taught to believe

I will take the stage in front of total strangers and fond friends;) and if you are there you will see that it will take a total of three minutes for me to stylishly remove two black gloves, one silk nighty and a black and purple laced bra.

What you will not see is the decade it has taken me to remove the limitations of self hate
What you will not see is the years I have spent removing corrosive loathing in order find my worth and self love
What you will not see is the six months it has taken me to remove that defeating fear that has told me that my dreams will never be my reality

You'll see me
just me
all of me
exactly how I was made to be

Yours Truly,
Miss Magnoliah Black

missrenie: (Default)
“You won’t make it on pretty alone” Kitty von Quimm says

There are three us there
Three of us sitting in a single line

with our legs spread
and our shoulders back

facing a large long ballet style mirror,
in a small theater somewhere in Oakland.

I look from her reflection to my own and in the light streaming in from above I  can see every flaw in my thunderous thighs, the repulsing fat of my abdomen, the ample flesh of my arms and yes more than one chin.

I almost smile at her remark. I’ve accepted my body but I’ve never thought of pretty as an option. Well that’s a lie. With clothes on, well the right clothes on I am beautiful. But like this…

“Burlesque is about attitude. They want it.  They want all of this” Juicy D. Light says from my right as she runs her hands up her full figured form. “And you can’t be afraid to give it to them.”

For a moment I am afraid.
There are no lines here, no biased boundaries, no entity to fight against, no rules to bend or break, no lines to refuse to follow.

There is just me

just me and the music
the stage and the crowd

The crowd who will not judge me according to my body, nor the false stylized standards of beauty that society has to its own detriment declared as fact.

No, they will judge me on something far more important…
my creativity
my fearlessness
my self expression
my ability to shock & amaze
my mastery over my sexuality and sensuality
my ability to command their attention and make them let me entertain them.

I am thinking this as Juicy counts off the sexy eight, as I watch us move together our left shoulders dipping to the right and our bodies following it back out.

I am feeling this as I shimmy and shake down low before slapping my thighs and pushing myself back up forcefully.

And as my mane of dreadlocks flips up and back over my shoulders I see this
I see this creativity & sensuality,
this expression of a fierce and fearless sexuality
I see this in my own reflection.
and I can’t help but growl a little.

Kitty is right I won’t make it on pretty alone
But that’s not a problem for me because I’m not pretty.

I am fucking gorgeous
I am fucking fabulous
I am fucking fierce

I am Miss Magnoliah Black~~~
                           Let me entertain you~~~


missrenie: (Default)

November 2011

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